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Author : Comedienne and comedy writer Jan McInnis
Want to add a few jokes to your next written
piece? No problem. As a professional stand-up comedienne and
writer who stays afloat by selling volumes of jokes each
month (Clinton’s antics paid my ’98 mortgage and Bush isn’t
doing too badly either), I’ll pass on some joke writing tips
that’ll send you in the right direction. Since there are no
formal “rules” to joke writing, I’ve made up my own...
Jokes involve a set-up with the subject and facts, and a
punch line that highlights the irony, twists the joke in
another direction, or gives an outrageous result.
RULE 1: Use familiarity, word associations and common
assumptions. We know Strom Thurmond is old (okay, dead, but
I like these examples, so play along), Anna Nicole Smith is
fat, Richard Simmons may be gay, etc. So take your subject
and list phrases, synonyms, stereotypes, sayings, people,
places and things connected with it. If you do this when
writing an age joke for example, and you want to describe
how old someone is, then just list words you associate with
old... and you may get – “I won’t say he’s old, but he
baby-sat Strom Thurmond.” Or when trying to describe how fat
someone is, list out fat people or things and you might get
“I won’t say she’s fat, but she gives her hand-me-downs to
Anna Nicole Smith.” A gay joke might be something like “I
won’t say he’s gay, but Richard Simmons called him a fag.”
You get the picture. Using an analogy is funnier than just
saying someone is fat or old. Also use familiar set-ups like
“he’s so cheap...,” “this town is so expensive...“and
brainstorm what things are cheap, expensive, etc. to get
some comparisons.
RULE 2: Exaggerate things to the extreme. Saying Anna
Nicole Smith is 400 pounds is funny, but it may be too close
to the truth. Saying she weighs 1200 pounds is funnier
because the picture of a 1200-pound woman is, just, well,
funny. (Besides, noooobody weighs 1200 pounds, so you’re
pretty safe... even 400 pound people will laugh at that
one.)
RULE 3: Be brief. Bill Cosby can go on for hours with
a single joke. The rest of us should only include facts in
the set-up that NEED to be there for the punch to work.
Delete unneeded adjectives and prepositional phrases, so
that all words pertain to the punch line. I try to keep my
jokes to 3 typed lines (not 3 sentences, but 3 lines). When
you make a crack about Winona Ryder shoplifting for example,
do you need to say “at Saks?” We all know that’s where she
got caught, so you don’t need to repeat it. Really, less is
better... unless you’re Bill Cosby.
RULE 4: Show the irony. That’s what you’re really
trying to do is pull out the irony in a situation. Look at
it as a good news/bad news... find the irony by listing out
all the good and bad in a situation, either real or made-up,
and then match them up to see the inconsistencies. “The good
news is we’re giving out free tickets to the buffet. The bad
news is, you’ll be in line behind Anna Nicole Smith.”
RULE 5: Twist the joke. Give out a real fact in the
set up, and make up a crazy (exaggerated) fact in the punch
line. A lot of times punch lines are grouped in threes with
the crazy fact at the end. Three things just seems to have a
good cadence.
RULE 6: Speaking of punch lines, make sure the last
word, or pretty darn close to the last word, is the zinger
punch line. No prepositional phrases or other words after
that word. Really, I’m not kidding. See these examples of
jokes I sold:
"A new study has found that the anti-anxiety drug
fluvoxamine is effective in relieving anxiety in school-age
children. Of course, it's not quite as effective as getting
their braces off." The words "their teeth" don't need
to be included because we already get it and it would just
slow down the joke.
"The first bloodless surgery was performed this week in
which a kid who is a Jehovah's Witness got a new liver
without a blood transfusion. The parents were so happy, they
almost celebrated!" The word "celebrated" is the punch... no
need to say "celebrated his survival" because we already get
it and it would just slow down the joke.
RULE 7: The “Cuh” sound. A general comedy rumor is
that words with the “c” or “k” sound are funny. Who knows if
this is true, but ya gotta admit, the names Chuck and Cletus
are funnier than Steve and Stuart. (especially if Chuck and
Cletus are dating Anna Nicole Smith... no?)
There are many more joke tips, but these will get you
started so that people will read your material and you’ll
achieve fame, fortune, and timely car payments!
Jan McInnis is one of the few
entertainers in Los Angeles who doesn’t waitress!! She
actually supports herself with her stand-up comedy and
freelance joke writing. She currently sells over a hundred
topical jokes a month to radio, and has freelanced for a
number of other venues including TV, awards shows, greeting
cards, and has written for comics and professional speakers.
Her stand-up act, which
focuses on the 15 years she spent in the corporate world,
can be seen at comedy clubs and corporate events throughout
the country. And Jan can also be heard weekly on radio
stations as “The Work Lady” in which she dispenses hilarious
“How To” career advice. Visit her site at
www.TheWorkLady.com
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